why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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