Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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