She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
