I cannot find my penis.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
