ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
