She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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