Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
