dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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