Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize