Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
