Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
