i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize