accomplished twins. life is a go
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
