You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
