I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
