my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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