if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
