I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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