Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
