I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
