He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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