You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
