I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
