also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
