Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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