dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
