I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize