I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
