Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I have post one night stand depression
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
