my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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