just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize