Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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