Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
