The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
