Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
