What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
