It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
