I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
