fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
