i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
