If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm passing your future prison.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Let's paint friendship bongs
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
