you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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