My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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