just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
