Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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