Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
