OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
