yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize