i was born a porn star she said
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
