You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
