i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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