guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
