Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
