You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
