The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
