She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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