So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
