I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
