He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
